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PostPosted: Sat May 15, 2021 10:34 am 
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So at one of my gigs, there's a duo who are regular singers that continue to treat me like a McDonald's cashier--even though we're Facebook friends, I've known them for over 2 years, they see me each week, I've given them personal gifts, I've bought them drinks, bought them meals with money out of my own pocket. I, of course let them sing whenever, wherever, I regularly give them the last songs, etc...

These 2 regular singers don't ever say hello to me, period. No exaggeration. Once they come in and see me, they never make small talk, they only bark orders at me and walk away. Everybody else I know or I've known that long treats me like a human being except these 2. For me, it's heartbreaking that this keeps going on.

I'm at my wits end. Any advice out there?

I've even mentioned it to them. I asked them to please loosen up with me. They've ignored that. I know if I treat them like crap, they will be the first to boycott me. And I'll think to myself, after all the reaching out I've done...? So I don't wanna do that. I want them to recognize me as a human, dammit!


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PostPosted: Sat May 15, 2021 10:53 am 
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here's a little example of what I mean:

the other day, I'm searching a karaoke song on my laptop during karaoke night, as one of these 2 regulars slipped in, very late into my shift and I didn't notice. So, that regular was standing by idly with 2 slips in their hand. I hadn't noticed they were standing there--I was too busy looking at my laptop. So they loudly barked my name. I jumped. Then they handed their 2 slips, walked away. No hello. No hey I just got here, sorry I'm late. And why 2 slips? This is how it's been the past 2 years with these 2 regulars only. I don't recall if I've done anything wrong to them and if I ever did, I've more than made it up to them. My traditional Xmas gifts are gift cards (for my regular singers, no matter who) to the venue so all can eat on me. Besides any bday gifts to my regulars, etc. I try to spoil some of my regulars. One of my all-time favorite KJs did that to me once, back in the day when I was just a karaoke singer, so when I became a KJ, I adopted that as a salute to her. I really appreciated her 'spoiling' me when she didn't have to.

I was just so blown this regular didn't just come over to where I was standing, stand next to me, put an arm on me, say hello, like a normal person would. They just stood there like a customer and I were a McDonald's cashier behind a booth. Like I've said, I've known these 2 regulars for 2 years now. Everybody else would've done something more warmly at that moment. Some come up to my booth, put a hand on my shoulder or put a hand on my back, then say hello, go for a quick hug or embrace with me that I don't solicit, but I appreciate. Not these 2. Ever. I can't recall either of these two ever saying Hello to me. Ever. Ever! When I jumped, honestly, it was surprise this regular knew my name. I think it's the first time in 2 years I heard either of them say my name.


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PostPosted: Sun May 16, 2021 12:41 am 
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For whatever reason, they're treating you like a piece of sh*t. If it was me, I would not be catering to them or showing them any special privilege like you have done. In fact, they would no longer be welcome at my show.

They are prima donnas who think they are God's gift to the world while you are beneath them. If they continue to come to your show, I wouldn't even greet them with a hello.

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PostPosted: Sun May 16, 2021 2:16 pm 
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Product 19 wrote:
I was just so blown this regular didn't just come over to where I was standing, stand next to me, put an arm on me, say hello, like a normal person would. They just stood there like a customer and I were a McDonald's cashier behind a booth.

To assume that is not normal. No one on this planet is obligated to make you feel better. Come back to reality and deal with the fact that not everyone likes you.


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PostPosted: Sun May 16, 2021 3:46 pm 
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Bob Latshaw wrote:
Product 19 wrote:
I was just so blown this regular didn't just come over to where I was standing, stand next to me, put an arm on me, say hello, like a normal person would. They just stood there like a customer and I were a McDonald's cashier behind a booth.

To assume that is not normal. No one on this planet is obligated to make you feel better. Come back to reality and deal with the fact that not everyone likes you.

You know, Bob brings up a good point. For whatever reason, they don't like you. The question is why?

Now, you have always treated them special. You've bought them drinks, even meals! All out of your own pocket. They even get to do the final songs of the night! So why would they hate someone that's been so good to them?

Personally, I don't know. Maybe Bob or someone else can offer an explanation, but I have no clue.

But... I do have something that will make you feel a whole lot better...

The next time they come to your show and hand you a slip, rip it up in front of them and say: "sorry, but I'm done with you b*tches".

Hey, but don't thank me... just too happy to help.

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PostPosted: Sun May 16, 2021 8:58 pm 
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Sort of reminds me of the story where the guy treats a woman like and Queen, and she only sees him as weak. Then you have another guy treats her badly, and she falls over her self trying to make him like her. I'm just wondering if there is something in some people which makes them want to be treated badly? You can't buy friends, and the one's you can buy aren't really true friends.


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PostPosted: Mon May 17, 2021 4:33 am 
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I have a guess... and it could totally be out of left field, BUT... one word... RACISM. Yes, unfortunately there's a lot of that going on in this day and age.

Now, I don't know the color of your skin, your ethnic background or religious persuasion, but if these two people that are treating you like sh*t are white and you happen to be African-American, Asian, Muslim, etc., could be the reason. They're racists!

So, for example, if you should be black, no matter how nice you are to these people, they will not like you because you're black. It's so sad but it's the world in which we live, sadly.

If this is not the case, than I have no clue as to why they treat you the way they do.

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PostPosted: Mon May 17, 2021 6:48 am 
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Alan B wrote:
For whatever reason, they don't like you. The question is why?

My guess is he's the kind of person who expects people to like him. That in itself is a little weird in my book. I don't like him and I've never met him. The moment he started bragging about how much he's spent on them is where he lost me.


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PostPosted: Mon May 17, 2021 8:30 am 
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Bob Latshaw wrote:
My guess is he's the kind of person who expects people to like him.

I would substitute the word "expects" for "wants".

Look, we don't know anything about his background or upbringing. Maybe he was bullied as a child. Or comes from an abusive home. Or maybe people took advantage of him.

So, now... because of this, he just wants to be liked... although, you can't buy friendship.

The point is, we can speculate, but we really don't know what someone else's life is like or what they've been through.

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PostPosted: Mon May 17, 2021 8:42 am 
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You can be the nicest person on earth and not be liked while the most vilest person and everyone likes you. It sometimes doesn't matter.

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PostPosted: Tue May 18, 2021 5:22 am 
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Alan B wrote:
Bob Latshaw wrote:
My guess is he's the kind of person who expects people to like him.

I would substitute the word "expects" for "wants".

Everybody wants it, but this guy definitely expects it. Look how shocked he is. He thinks it warrants crying out on a public forum and words it in a way that leaves no question. He just can't believe someone on this planet isn't giving him all the respect and love he thinks he deserves. I deal with his kind all the time. They're a dime a dozen these days thanks to the new "woke" parents who are afraid to be honest with their own kids. There's nothing wrong with saying "Hey son, you are kinda being an A-hole. Stop expecting everyone to like you. It ain't gonna happen. Stick with the people who do like you, but stop being in denial about the rest."

...and regardless of his past, he's an adult now and needs to step up to the table. Having pity for someone's past doesn't help them get stronger, but only enables them to use it as an excuse that much longer.


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PostPosted: Tue May 18, 2021 10:40 am 
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Give him a break. You guys sound like a bunch of old crabs. He has always been kind on this forum and a modicum of respect isn't asking too much.

Its up to you on how to handle this situation. My motto at work is, "friendly to all and friend to no one"! It does a few things. Number 1, it lets all my regulars know that I have no favorites and everyone is treated the same. Number 2, I don't get any hurt feelings by being disrespected or ignored, etc.

Maybe these two are just spoiled brats and you are not helping the situation by pampering them. I would treat them exactly the same as everyone else. Who knows, your other regulars could get jealous if you keep pandering to them.

Good luck, hope it works out

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PostPosted: Tue May 18, 2021 8:12 pm 
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You let them sing whenever, wherever? There's your problem. If you let people walk all over you, don't be surprised when they walk all over you.

If these 2 are water drinkers, never order food, AND expect to be treated as royalty, the only royal thing I would give them is a royal shove out the door.


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PostPosted: Wed May 19, 2021 7:20 am 
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Everyone who attends my shows get the exact same treatment. Especially when it comes to rotation.

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PostPosted: Wed May 19, 2021 10:58 am 
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Product You're a good guy. All you want is a little courtesy and Respect. I get it. You're busting your butt and have pride in your show and keep everyone having a good time!! Some people have overbearing personalities and have the cater to me attitude!! There are way too many dicks in this World. Don't let them get to you!!! And you don't need to put up with it. They don't have to be kind and thus you don't have to be either. I think I'd ask them I've noticed you don't seem like you're very happy here so there might be other places that might work better for you... Did someone ever write a song.. "Don't let the Door Kick you in the A$$" Or in Frozen tradition.. "Let em Go Let em Go!!! I'd bet some $$ they'll be back and hopefully a bit less Pricklish!! :D


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 26, 2021 8:24 pm 
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Thanks for everyone's input. All answers were all very helpful.

Lemme answer as many as I can off the top of my head: Interesting; but no, it's not racism. We're all the same race. Which is also why I can't understand why we can't coexist on a basic level. Yes, I did come off whiny and needy in my post, but in real life my skin is a lot thicker. In real life, having people like me isn't something I'm too focused on--you'll notice by my clothes and style. I'm actually a proud loner. So, this is more about: there's no reason I see for them to continue to display their dislike for me, at every turn it feels like, especially after 2 years.

They come pretty often, so, yes, it's human nature that I now expect them to just be cordial with me, by now. 'Barking' at me to pay attention to them when I'm focused on the laptop, isn't my idea of cordial. I keep thinking it's going to get better, but it has stayed the same. I also wonder why do they keep coming to this show if they just act like that? Yes, I hoped throwing money at the problem would kill it, it hasn't. It's just baffling. I'm not going to accept some people 'just aren't going to like you', in this case. Then these 2 need to stop coming to the show. I'm not the type of KJ or person who's going to treat them bad, necessarily just because they treat me bad. I'm just not that cat. It's hella bothersome to meet new singers who have come after they started coming treat me great. Or sometimes their associates or siblings tag along, every now and then these past 2 years and their associates treat me great. I'm like, "what's up with these 2 individuals?"

I've whined about this in a public forum only because I've noticed the blessing of this site is all the stuff that's ever happened to me as a KJ has happened to others as well. I'd never guess that if I didn't come here. So, I posted my frustrating problem to see if anyone can relate or if not to learn from my problem, see where I've made mistakes like trying to throw money at it, hasn't worked.

As of today, it's still not resolved. I don't suppose it ever will be. Ah well.

But everyone's input was very helpful....


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