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PostPosted: Mon Mar 12, 2018 11:39 pm 
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warning: this may be a little long. yall know me by now--i'm a long-winded typing, idiot. world class. just ignore me if you're certain i'm nuts; thank-ye, kindly. chime in if you have an opinion, (if you like.) this particular thread doesn't need to be answered by anyone, necessarily...

putting this out there if any other KJs feel / ever felt this way

so, my little brother moved in with me temporarily with his 3 kids who are all under 10. sadly, his marriage is dissolving. he & his wife left their northern state they were in. since i heard his kids didn't like their old school up in their northern state, i thought they'd like the school near me, i offered to him to come stay with me, during their spousal split at the moment and bring the kids since their spousal separation occurred without warning. his kids like their new school that's near my home. while my bro & his wife try to find some sort of way to come together...and she's finally moved to this state recently too. they're still married on paper at the moment. she comes pick up the kids on the weekends. their split has nothing to do with my brother's behavior or his wife's behavior, but a long-standing, unresolved simple argument they had before they ever got married.

i don't have any kids. this is a unique experience for me to be around children 24 hours a day.

i don't think my brother's kids have ever seen him smile, recently. and IMO, he's always just telling them what to do. "don't touch that." "go to sleep." "eat your food". all he says all day long. i'm not a parent, i understand this is what parents do. but i think he could be sweeter to his kids. i, on the other hand, am totally sweet to his kids/my neices & nephews. but they don't seem to to notice their dad is an irritated lion 24 hours a day. they're still very happy-go-lucky under-10-year-olds that don't seem to realize their parents are separating. (they'll be ok. i'll try my very best to make sure of that.) but i hear a tiger growl in his voice every single time he addresses them about anything. it's very cold. by the way, he is NOT verbally abusive NOR does he beat his kids. he's a great provider for his kids, too. i can tell by the way he snatched up quick putting his kids in the great school near me...once he left their old home state.

here's where he, my brother, relates to karaoke. one day, i suddenly totally recognized the constant growl in his voice that i've been secretly critical of. because i've been doing that same growl the past year or so. i've been working at the same venue hosting karaoke over a decade and nowadays, i'm cold as hell to the singers. my 10-year-old, weekly karaoke job that's been very good to me all this time, has become my 10-year old child that i don't have. i recoil dramatically when any singer tries to physically touch me. i bark at everyone "write it down. don't talk to me." i don't care what anyone has to say to me, i tell everyone write it down. i ignore singers trying to chit chat with me or be friendly with me. please don't buy me drinks. please don't touch me, please don't talk to me.

don't get me wrong. my show is super-friendly to any singer. you won't get this type of full applause anywhere. you're treated like a rock star at my shows. sometimes i can't believe the thunderous applause my singers get. my singers dress up on my karaoke nights because folks in the audience want selfies with them. the entire room applauds including managers, bartenders, EVERYTIME THEY SING. because i promote that. i made it like that. and you can bet, i put the mic down and i clap my damn self for my singers before i speak on the mic. i totally "get" ed sullivan and don cornelius. bad singers love my show because they get love they don't get anywhere else. if you have low self-esteem, come to my show. you'll be treated like a celebrity. i'm a karaoke singer's deejay: my show puts you on a pedastal, IMO. and you know, i don't sing. i don't smoke, don't take bathroom breaks. quick rotation. i'll let you sing until your lung gives out. but the trade off is: don't touch me, don't talk me, i'm not your friend, write it down, i don't care what you have to say to me even if it's goodbye, write it down. i don't care if you been coming to my show for 10 years, write it down with your name, everytime. i tell folks to their face, i don't remember you.

so i'm trying to improve myself. it's not working. i'm trying to be friendlier, i know it's not right that i'm cold to my singers, but i'm like, hey the platform i give you, here is good to you. IMO, my platform has given you fans and groupies and attention. it makes you dress up. it puts you on social media. it makes you a local celebrity. even though you can't sing for squat. people now are used to your routine. used to your silly song. i'm cool with that. i can't believe it sometime,s how i feel like i've created so many 'local celebrities'. i really didn't see that coming. people bring their parents and friends to watch your quirky act. i've provided that platform the way my brother provides for his kids. but there's no softness from me at all these days to go with it. i criticize my brother for not being softer to his kids, but meanwhile i'm just as cold to my singers.

i'm tryyyyying, trying trying, to be better, but it's not coming naturally. i'll keep at it though. i won't be pefect, but i know my attitude is becoming very jarring.


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 12, 2018 11:56 pm 
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and before anyone says it, of course i recognize my brother's moodiness may come from the spousal separation. no duh. still, he could be friendlier to his kids. they are happy, healthy, well-behaved, beautiful kids. it's just so completely wrong to hear the bite in his voice every single time he talks to them. "put on your shoes!", "be quiet!" i'm like, dude, chill!! take the edge off your voice. last week, his kids were looking at an old photo of us, when we brothers were younger. he's smiling. they had no idea who he was, they kept pointing at everyone else in the picture as their dad. i'm like, no, it's the guy standing next to me smiling.

sure, when he talks to me, it's different. he's smiles, he jokes, he laughs. with his kids...ugh. great provider, though. no wonder they feel absolutely no effects of what's going on. he can provide. he was wise to bring em to me.

i'm just really seeing for kinda the first time, my singers don't deserve me to bark at them. all this time i knew it, i know it's wrong, but it hasn't touched me until it clicked in my head, i sound like my brother to his kids. great provider, no softness. i could be a little softer.


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 13, 2018 3:09 am 
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Product 19 wrote:
don't touch me, don't talk me, i'm not your friend, write it down, i don't care what you have to say to me even if it's goodbye, write it down. i don't care if you been coming to my show for 10 years, write it down with your name, everytime. i tell folks to their face, i don't remember you.


Despite the fact that you seriously lack "people skills", people are coming to your shows and having a good time regardless of the fact that you're acting like an asss to your guests. It's because of these people coming to your shows week after week is the reason you have a job. They made you successful and you show your appreciation by treating them like sh*t.

You are a perfect example of everything that's wrong with the world.

As far as your brother, now more than ever he should show compassion and be loving to his kids.

I have nothing more to say.

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 13, 2018 8:44 am 
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Sounds like your're getting burned out on this show......being fed up and treating customers rudely is a key sign. Time to either change YOUR behavior or think about moving on from the gig.


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 13, 2018 9:07 am 
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You gotta change your routine. That doesn't mean just karaoke, either. It's obvious your brother moving in with you has opened your eyes. Perhaps volunteering or a new workout program, etc. would do the trick. It sounds like you're stuck in a rut.

You sound like a compassionate person, so I have a hard time believing that you are treating your singers so rudely. You see for yourself the error of your ways. A slight attitude adjustment is all that is needed.

Try to remember why you became a host in the first place. Use your people skills that made you successful in this business. Treat it like a career instead of a job.

Good luck. I'm pretty sure you'll be fine!

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